The Specimen, January 29, 2009

A father involved with the routine of a kid (picking from school, birthday parties, sports etc) in the Indian situation elicits some reactions from people around and becomes a bit of a specimen, if I may use the word.

My impression is that busy fathers are intermittently involved with their kids, but a father (like me, being immodest here) involved almost daily raises some eyebrows among the sprinkling of grand parents and majority mother population involved in the hustle of kid routines.

As I work on my own and deal mostly with foreign clients I am able to revolve my routine amidst stiff deadlines.

People who know me as somebody who manages work and kid compare. Some observations that I don't mind:

** You are so patient. I don’t believe that you are so busy also. My husband would not wait for a minute (this is when Khyati is busy at the school swings or an unending birthday party and I wait).

** You are never late to pick up your daughter. I have been noticing this and find it really admirable.

** You must be managing Khyati’s home work also (which I don’t and cannot as it requires too much concentration and is handled by my wife and Khyati’s grand mom). When I say that I can only take care of the outdoor routine (it is also some time away from the computer screen and straining the eye), I get the feeling that some think I am trying to be modest, few also think that I hide how much work Khyati is putting in (there is this undercurrent of competition always).

My wife is of the opinion that the above credits overrate my actual role as she is also working and involved with Khyati in many more ways (like getting her ready in the morning, breakfast, home work in the evening, bath, dinner and reading to sleep)

There is a flip side though. People (fathers and mothers) who don’t know me think I may have lost my job or I am certainly unemployed to be able to follow Khyati’s routine diligently. If I happen to be unshaven the view is only buttressed.

Many are curious to know more and ask directly about what I do, perhaps unable to fathom the contended look on my face, when I am shaved.

In my opinion my efforts are actually minimal, though important, in the overall scheme of a child’s development, but compared to others, I guess it must be more. At least there is more to show.

I must add, though, handling a kid requires some patience. There is simply no choice.