For a young guy a kiss can mean a lot.
There was a time when I traveled quite some distance to meet a girlfriend. As my parents were against bikes and cars too expensive, I changed three buses, walked a bit in the heat to arrive at the residence of the pretty girl in question.
Then I took her out to the local market (no malls at that time) for chaat, walked her at her local park, praised her, her family and her dog expecting the big prize, the kiss in some corner for the efforts --- the girl of course thought she was doing a big favor still and sometimes refused, saying she was not in the mood.
So, one walked back, disheartened, hoping for another day and time.
Now of course I hanker for a kiss from Khyati (a different heart soothing feeling), who has been quick to turn it to her advantage --- perhaps due to some female genetic intelligence flowing down.
So, it is no longer easy to get a kiss from her, unless she wants to.
The other day she wanted me to wait another hour at a birthday party and promptly planted a kiss on the cheek. I complied.
Off late, at the park, she kisses from a distance to negotiate more time. I have been complying, but feel short changed.
The only time I get many kisses for free is when I drive fast --- she likes it, so do I, but given the current traffic situation, the occasion is not often, even if I take some risk.
Friday, February 27, 2009
Monday, February 9, 2009
Me and Maids, February 10, 2009
Don’t read me wrong, but for as long as my memory goes maids have been a subject of hot discussion of my grandmother, mother and now my wife and her mother.
``She takes leave too often, steals, drinks milk from the fridge, dirty, ill-behaved…,’’ have been the common complaints.
Maids have been spoken about by women of my household with the same passion as I may talk about cricket, golf or shares.
Frankly, I have considered them a nuisance and maid issues very silly woman talk, until I have had to take part-responsibility of baby sitting Khyati.
These girls know that they have you by the b…ls (pardon the language) when it comes to the kid.
A couple of bad experiences I can recall are when I had to multi-task between Khyati and a stiff deadline, which I thought I could manage with the maid.
I made the mistake of snapping at her on some issue I don’t remember.
She promptly told me ``saab, chakkar aa raha hai (sir, I have a headache).’’ When a young girl speaks about such a problem, it only means one thing and one has to let her go to her room and rest.
During my early days of handling Khyati with a maid, I lost my temper at one and she promptly packed her belongings and left.
Then began a mad scramble for a new maid and soon I realized that getting one is an organized racket involving agencies that charge a hefty service amount without any guarantees.
The agencies as a matter of fact encourage maids to leave employers so that they make more money by re-cycling them elsewhere.
Further, given the pace at which the Indian population is pro-creating, the maid sector is a monopoly.
Now I look at handling maids as a very serious matter and have had discussions with my mother on the issues involved. ``Be gentle and diplomatic,’’ is her advise.
Our current maid has negotiated TV time for her favorite soap operas and spends quite a bit of her day talking on the cell phone (call this emancipation due to technology and cheap call rates) to sundry drivers and gardeners, spread all over the country.
I good naturedly pretend that all of this is very funny.
``She takes leave too often, steals, drinks milk from the fridge, dirty, ill-behaved…,’’ have been the common complaints.
Maids have been spoken about by women of my household with the same passion as I may talk about cricket, golf or shares.
Frankly, I have considered them a nuisance and maid issues very silly woman talk, until I have had to take part-responsibility of baby sitting Khyati.
These girls know that they have you by the b…ls (pardon the language) when it comes to the kid.
A couple of bad experiences I can recall are when I had to multi-task between Khyati and a stiff deadline, which I thought I could manage with the maid.
I made the mistake of snapping at her on some issue I don’t remember.
She promptly told me ``saab, chakkar aa raha hai (sir, I have a headache).’’ When a young girl speaks about such a problem, it only means one thing and one has to let her go to her room and rest.
During my early days of handling Khyati with a maid, I lost my temper at one and she promptly packed her belongings and left.
Then began a mad scramble for a new maid and soon I realized that getting one is an organized racket involving agencies that charge a hefty service amount without any guarantees.
The agencies as a matter of fact encourage maids to leave employers so that they make more money by re-cycling them elsewhere.
Further, given the pace at which the Indian population is pro-creating, the maid sector is a monopoly.
Now I look at handling maids as a very serious matter and have had discussions with my mother on the issues involved. ``Be gentle and diplomatic,’’ is her advise.
Our current maid has negotiated TV time for her favorite soap operas and spends quite a bit of her day talking on the cell phone (call this emancipation due to technology and cheap call rates) to sundry drivers and gardeners, spread all over the country.
I good naturedly pretend that all of this is very funny.
Tuesday, February 3, 2009
Perks of the Job, February 4, 2009
There are some inherent advantages in having a kid tag alongside, one being attention of comely women.
For example, at my local gym where most of the bombshells who quickly slot you as the one who stares (at the mirror in front) while they jog on the treadmill, which I guess is a self-preservation drill given the generally sex obsessed and starved population in India.
The ice was, however, broken following a couple of visits by Khyati, who sat in the lounge area and read a book while I exercised.
The smiles and attention have not ceased. ``What a cute child, your child, I did not know you had a child,’’ one bombshell volunteered a conversation.
I guess the fatherly image triggers a concomitant safe to talk to message to most of the opposite sex.
Another pretty girl even asked me out for coffee at Café Day as she wanted to discuss the dynamics of setting up a business. This has never happened to me before. More are now my friends.
So I asked a long standing friend the depth of such attention.
``It’s simple,’’ she said. ``You are like a lake and these women like little pebbles. They know that their entry into your life will only cause little waves, unlike a young bachelor who may turn obsessive, possessive, romantic and in love. So, they feel it is okay, they don’t need to think too much while interacting with you.’’
For curiosity sake (???), I further asked whether such comfort levels can also result in more (you know what I mean).
``It can if the woman is not committed,’’ my friend said. ``She knows exit is easy, so why not try out something different, while the option is there, but I would strongly advise against such adventures as they can turn dangerous (she meant emotional).’’
Well well, I am listening…
For example, at my local gym where most of the bombshells who quickly slot you as the one who stares (at the mirror in front) while they jog on the treadmill, which I guess is a self-preservation drill given the generally sex obsessed and starved population in India.
The ice was, however, broken following a couple of visits by Khyati, who sat in the lounge area and read a book while I exercised.
The smiles and attention have not ceased. ``What a cute child, your child, I did not know you had a child,’’ one bombshell volunteered a conversation.
I guess the fatherly image triggers a concomitant safe to talk to message to most of the opposite sex.
Another pretty girl even asked me out for coffee at Café Day as she wanted to discuss the dynamics of setting up a business. This has never happened to me before. More are now my friends.
So I asked a long standing friend the depth of such attention.
``It’s simple,’’ she said. ``You are like a lake and these women like little pebbles. They know that their entry into your life will only cause little waves, unlike a young bachelor who may turn obsessive, possessive, romantic and in love. So, they feel it is okay, they don’t need to think too much while interacting with you.’’
For curiosity sake (???), I further asked whether such comfort levels can also result in more (you know what I mean).
``It can if the woman is not committed,’’ my friend said. ``She knows exit is easy, so why not try out something different, while the option is there, but I would strongly advise against such adventures as they can turn dangerous (she meant emotional).’’
Well well, I am listening…
Monday, February 2, 2009
Time Management, February 2, 2009
Handling a kid with work requires some tough decisions.
For example, if it is pick up/drop time and an important client mail needs attention or deadline looms, it is never very easy.
On the one end could be a cranky or dissatisfied client and at the other the kid with near tears and worry in her eyes as she keenly awaits your arrival.
Technology, including GPRS mailing, helps a bit with cell phones allowing one to parry a client situation for sometime.
But, matters do need to be managed by the minute.
Keeping track of time becomes important in the midst of bunched up deadlines and kid schedules.
For example, I do not like to send an important document close to kid pick up time as it can get nervy.
Further, it is important to keep several time sources handy, without relying on any one: laptop, cell phone, table watches, car clock, at least one watch in the bath room, dressing room and bedroom.
One also has to account for traffic snarls etc.
A couple of years back the battery of my wall clock sank and it is not the best sight to see your kid waiting eagerly for you.
But, things do get better as kids begin to borrow their teacher’s/friends mother’s/coach cell phone to make calls and find out.
``Sid, where are you,’’ Khyati called the other day. ``The party is over, please come and pick me up right now.’’
For example, if it is pick up/drop time and an important client mail needs attention or deadline looms, it is never very easy.
On the one end could be a cranky or dissatisfied client and at the other the kid with near tears and worry in her eyes as she keenly awaits your arrival.
Technology, including GPRS mailing, helps a bit with cell phones allowing one to parry a client situation for sometime.
But, matters do need to be managed by the minute.
Keeping track of time becomes important in the midst of bunched up deadlines and kid schedules.
For example, I do not like to send an important document close to kid pick up time as it can get nervy.
Further, it is important to keep several time sources handy, without relying on any one: laptop, cell phone, table watches, car clock, at least one watch in the bath room, dressing room and bedroom.
One also has to account for traffic snarls etc.
A couple of years back the battery of my wall clock sank and it is not the best sight to see your kid waiting eagerly for you.
But, things do get better as kids begin to borrow their teacher’s/friends mother’s/coach cell phone to make calls and find out.
``Sid, where are you,’’ Khyati called the other day. ``The party is over, please come and pick me up right now.’’
Sunday, February 1, 2009
Playing Politics, February 1, 2009
7 year olds can be pretty smart about finding their way through the maze of parental and family roadblocks and permissions to issues that may be important to them.
So is the case with Khyati, who considers her mother (sometimes grandparents) to be the more formidable person to reason with, than me. So, her strategy at times is to extract a yes from me before moving onto a public debate.
She knows that parents are consistent people and when I say yes to her privately, I will have to defend her position in front of others as well.
One latest instance concerns an overnight school trip that me and my wife are not in favor of, as we feel that she needs to grow up a bit before such excursions.
Khyati, of course wants to go.
In the car (after school), where most of our one-to-one conversations happen, she told me that she wants to go for the trip and that I should say yes.
My antennas were instantly up as I knew that this was building up for stage-2 with her mother: ``Papa has said it is okay to go, ’’ she would begin.
So I replied: ``we go for so many trips together, so we can go for another one and have some fun.’’
``I have fun with you and mama,’’ she reasoned, ``but with friends it is different.’’
``How?’’
``Well, me and my friends, we can get up at night, switch on the lights of the room when the teacher is asleep and play games --- also eat chips,’’ she explained.
``Ok,’’ I said.
``So, is it a yes then,’’ she asked very innocently.
This was the crunch question, so I had to tread very carefully.
``I am not saying yes or no,’’ I said, ``Let us debate the issue with everybody and then decide.’’
``You mean you are saying yes, but others have to also say yes,’’ she asked.
``No,’’ I said, ``I am undecided and want to hear what others have to say.’’
``So, you are not saying yes or no,’’ she said.
``True,’’
She knew I had guessed her game and would not give in.
But, it was well tried, Khyati.
So is the case with Khyati, who considers her mother (sometimes grandparents) to be the more formidable person to reason with, than me. So, her strategy at times is to extract a yes from me before moving onto a public debate.
She knows that parents are consistent people and when I say yes to her privately, I will have to defend her position in front of others as well.
One latest instance concerns an overnight school trip that me and my wife are not in favor of, as we feel that she needs to grow up a bit before such excursions.
Khyati, of course wants to go.
In the car (after school), where most of our one-to-one conversations happen, she told me that she wants to go for the trip and that I should say yes.
My antennas were instantly up as I knew that this was building up for stage-2 with her mother: ``Papa has said it is okay to go, ’’ she would begin.
So I replied: ``we go for so many trips together, so we can go for another one and have some fun.’’
``I have fun with you and mama,’’ she reasoned, ``but with friends it is different.’’
``How?’’
``Well, me and my friends, we can get up at night, switch on the lights of the room when the teacher is asleep and play games --- also eat chips,’’ she explained.
``Ok,’’ I said.
``So, is it a yes then,’’ she asked very innocently.
This was the crunch question, so I had to tread very carefully.
``I am not saying yes or no,’’ I said, ``Let us debate the issue with everybody and then decide.’’
``You mean you are saying yes, but others have to also say yes,’’ she asked.
``No,’’ I said, ``I am undecided and want to hear what others have to say.’’
``So, you are not saying yes or no,’’ she said.
``True,’’
She knew I had guessed her game and would not give in.
But, it was well tried, Khyati.
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