Phone Calling, March 13, 2009

Mother, girlfriends, wife and now daughter...

In hindsight, it was the easiest to handle calls from my mom as she simply believed all I said (or so I used to think) and never asked too many questions.

This made it difficult to lie though I often did.

After all, how could I tell her that I was too drunk to come home and had to spend the night at a friend’s.

A better way to escape the situation was to speak about joint night study.

Girlfriends, of course, one had to lie, especially when routines involving other girlfriends were concerned.

Over time, one has to handle the situation with the wife as well. For example a visit to the pub could be a client meeting or extra time at golf business development.

However, with Khyati things can be very tricky. What I do today will definitely be an example followed and practiced by her when she grows up.

For example, I have a problem about sticking to time…I lose track of it, especially when fun and frolic is involved.

Off late, Khyati calls to find out what time I am going to be home as there are some general knowledge games she has learnt that requires a quorum of people over the dining table.

``Sid,’’ she says over the phone, sounding sometimes like my wife. ``Just be home for dinner today, okay.’’

Thoughts cross my mind that a few years from now it is definitely going to be me who will be calling her to find out what time she is going to be back, given hectic social routines of teenagers.

There is immense pressure on me now to do as I say. Parenting is a tough job. It teaches you to stick to time, for one.

The other day I told her while driving that I was going for a movie for grown ups with some colleagues.

``Stop the car, turn it around and come home right now as I want you to be home for dinner,’’ she said.

I m struggling.

Technology and Kids, March 5, 2009

Kids growing up today are exposed to gadgets that did not exist during my time.

At seven Khyati is comfortable in handling the cell phone, dialing, taking a call, reading missed and received calls. She has a thing for cellular multi-media games nowadays.

She has learnt computer commands, including keying in passwords and can operate the paint brush which I cannot.

She logs onto Google on her own, downloads and plays Barbie and Power Angel games online during holidays, mute the sound when her time is over and has begun to use search words to read material.

What is a bit of concern for me, however, is the smut that is so easily accessible on the Internet. The transition from hearing about the word ``sex’’ and knowing about it visually is very minimal.

This is when I and my wife continue to stick to the story of fairies delivering Khyati to us.

During my time it was never so easy to access sleaze, available at local video parlors --- one had to be a bit of a grown up (late teens I would say) to walk up to the guy at the counter and wink or point at the smutty stuff and pay for it.

The video cassette (including copies) had to be suitably camouflaged (among books for instance), smuggled into the house and hidden away so that parents, including very snoopy and suspicious mothers did not find them.

Most adult shows were then group events involving several friends in the neighborhood as word usually got round quickly about any household where parents happened to be out for a late night party or work.

Today a kid could easily surf a porn site, just one search word or URL away, within the confines of a muted laptop, even if the household is teeming with people.

This is not a very palatable situation and I cannot think of any preventive solution that can be effective.

Suggestions???