Potty and Junk Food (January 31, 2010)

This sequence goes something like this.

Once, sometimes twice a week, from school I allow Khyati to binge a bit on junk food at a local super mart --- it is usually a cola or a packet of chips.

Off late, I have been running into a bit of an issue here.

Her argument is that I let her binge more on the condition that next week she would forego the high calorie, low nutrition intake, which I know will never happen.

The next week would never come and be turned into a supposed sacrifice for the following week.

So, it has not been the best of times traveling back from school arguing about eating out. Of course, when I don’t give in she snaps: ``I will never talk to you again.’’ ``I will never give you a kiss again.’’ ``I will never share chips with you again; not even a single piece.’’ She knows that I have a weakness for any food.

Anyway, I have finally managed to come up with an explanation, though it does not sound very appetizing. I told her that eating junk food is like going for potty --- one can’t do lots of it one day and not do it again for the next few days.

Similarly, one cannot eat lots of junk food in one go and then forgo it for many days. It is better to eat in bits over time as the urge to taste junk food will re-surface after a gap, just as potty does.

For now, the explanation has worked…our junk food arguments are over, though I have a feeling she may now say that ``since potty is everyday, why not junk food.’’

She has not, until now.

Car Phone November 15, 2009

It has been a while since I wrote this blog...Khyati has of course grown a bit...one change is in the car after I pick her up from school...she grabs the cellphone to speak to many friends similarly placed...Heading back home in their mode of transport, school bus or personal cars...Sometimes she speaks softly and I hear her say: ``I dont want my father to hear this....''

Phone Calling, March 13, 2009

Mother, girlfriends, wife and now daughter...

In hindsight, it was the easiest to handle calls from my mom as she simply believed all I said (or so I used to think) and never asked too many questions.

This made it difficult to lie though I often did.

After all, how could I tell her that I was too drunk to come home and had to spend the night at a friend’s.

A better way to escape the situation was to speak about joint night study.

Girlfriends, of course, one had to lie, especially when routines involving other girlfriends were concerned.

Over time, one has to handle the situation with the wife as well. For example a visit to the pub could be a client meeting or extra time at golf business development.

However, with Khyati things can be very tricky. What I do today will definitely be an example followed and practiced by her when she grows up.

For example, I have a problem about sticking to time…I lose track of it, especially when fun and frolic is involved.

Off late, Khyati calls to find out what time I am going to be home as there are some general knowledge games she has learnt that requires a quorum of people over the dining table.

``Sid,’’ she says over the phone, sounding sometimes like my wife. ``Just be home for dinner today, okay.’’

Thoughts cross my mind that a few years from now it is definitely going to be me who will be calling her to find out what time she is going to be back, given hectic social routines of teenagers.

There is immense pressure on me now to do as I say. Parenting is a tough job. It teaches you to stick to time, for one.

The other day I told her while driving that I was going for a movie for grown ups with some colleagues.

``Stop the car, turn it around and come home right now as I want you to be home for dinner,’’ she said.

I m struggling.

Technology and Kids, March 5, 2009

Kids growing up today are exposed to gadgets that did not exist during my time.

At seven Khyati is comfortable in handling the cell phone, dialing, taking a call, reading missed and received calls. She has a thing for cellular multi-media games nowadays.

She has learnt computer commands, including keying in passwords and can operate the paint brush which I cannot.

She logs onto Google on her own, downloads and plays Barbie and Power Angel games online during holidays, mute the sound when her time is over and has begun to use search words to read material.

What is a bit of concern for me, however, is the smut that is so easily accessible on the Internet. The transition from hearing about the word ``sex’’ and knowing about it visually is very minimal.

This is when I and my wife continue to stick to the story of fairies delivering Khyati to us.

During my time it was never so easy to access sleaze, available at local video parlors --- one had to be a bit of a grown up (late teens I would say) to walk up to the guy at the counter and wink or point at the smutty stuff and pay for it.

The video cassette (including copies) had to be suitably camouflaged (among books for instance), smuggled into the house and hidden away so that parents, including very snoopy and suspicious mothers did not find them.

Most adult shows were then group events involving several friends in the neighborhood as word usually got round quickly about any household where parents happened to be out for a late night party or work.

Today a kid could easily surf a porn site, just one search word or URL away, within the confines of a muted laptop, even if the household is teeming with people.

This is not a very palatable situation and I cannot think of any preventive solution that can be effective.

Suggestions???

Hugs and Kisses, February 27, 2009

For a young guy a kiss can mean a lot.

There was a time when I traveled quite some distance to meet a girlfriend. As my parents were against bikes and cars too expensive, I changed three buses, walked a bit in the heat to arrive at the residence of the pretty girl in question.

Then I took her out to the local market (no malls at that time) for chaat, walked her at her local park, praised her, her family and her dog expecting the big prize, the kiss in some corner for the efforts --- the girl of course thought she was doing a big favor still and sometimes refused, saying she was not in the mood.

So, one walked back, disheartened, hoping for another day and time.

Now of course I hanker for a kiss from Khyati (a different heart soothing feeling), who has been quick to turn it to her advantage --- perhaps due to some female genetic intelligence flowing down.

So, it is no longer easy to get a kiss from her, unless she wants to.

The other day she wanted me to wait another hour at a birthday party and promptly planted a kiss on the cheek. I complied.

Off late, at the park, she kisses from a distance to negotiate more time. I have been complying, but feel short changed.

The only time I get many kisses for free is when I drive fast --- she likes it, so do I, but given the current traffic situation, the occasion is not often, even if I take some risk.

Me and Maids, February 10, 2009

Don’t read me wrong, but for as long as my memory goes maids have been a subject of hot discussion of my grandmother, mother and now my wife and her mother.

``She takes leave too often, steals, drinks milk from the fridge, dirty, ill-behaved…,’’ have been the common complaints.

Maids have been spoken about by women of my household with the same passion as I may talk about cricket, golf or shares.

Frankly, I have considered them a nuisance and maid issues very silly woman talk, until I have had to take part-responsibility of baby sitting Khyati.

These girls know that they have you by the b…ls (pardon the language) when it comes to the kid.

A couple of bad experiences I can recall are when I had to multi-task between Khyati and a stiff deadline, which I thought I could manage with the maid.

I made the mistake of snapping at her on some issue I don’t remember.

She promptly told me ``saab, chakkar aa raha hai (sir, I have a headache).’’ When a young girl speaks about such a problem, it only means one thing and one has to let her go to her room and rest.

During my early days of handling Khyati with a maid, I lost my temper at one and she promptly packed her belongings and left.

Then began a mad scramble for a new maid and soon I realized that getting one is an organized racket involving agencies that charge a hefty service amount without any guarantees.

The agencies as a matter of fact encourage maids to leave employers so that they make more money by re-cycling them elsewhere.

Further, given the pace at which the Indian population is pro-creating, the maid sector is a monopoly.

Now I look at handling maids as a very serious matter and have had discussions with my mother on the issues involved. ``Be gentle and diplomatic,’’ is her advise.

Our current maid has negotiated TV time for her favorite soap operas and spends quite a bit of her day talking on the cell phone (call this emancipation due to technology and cheap call rates) to sundry drivers and gardeners, spread all over the country.

I good naturedly pretend that all of this is very funny.

Perks of the Job, February 4, 2009

There are some inherent advantages in having a kid tag alongside, one being attention of comely women.

For example, at my local gym where most of the bombshells who quickly slot you as the one who stares (at the mirror in front) while they jog on the treadmill, which I guess is a self-preservation drill given the generally sex obsessed and starved population in India.

The ice was, however, broken following a couple of visits by Khyati, who sat in the lounge area and read a book while I exercised.

The smiles and attention have not ceased. ``What a cute child, your child, I did not know you had a child,’’ one bombshell volunteered a conversation.

I guess the fatherly image triggers a concomitant safe to talk to message to most of the opposite sex.

Another pretty girl even asked me out for coffee at Café Day as she wanted to discuss the dynamics of setting up a business. This has never happened to me before. More are now my friends.

So I asked a long standing friend the depth of such attention.

``It’s simple,’’ she said. ``You are like a lake and these women like little pebbles. They know that their entry into your life will only cause little waves, unlike a young bachelor who may turn obsessive, possessive, romantic and in love. So, they feel it is okay, they don’t need to think too much while interacting with you.’’

For curiosity sake (???), I further asked whether such comfort levels can also result in more (you know what I mean).

``It can if the woman is not committed,’’ my friend said. ``She knows exit is easy, so why not try out something different, while the option is there, but I would strongly advise against such adventures as they can turn dangerous (she meant emotional).’’

Well well, I am listening…